I just watched a feature on ‘Melbourne Minutes’, and they had a guy on who was talking about the best kind of windows to keep out space probes. I’m pretty sure they had him on to make light fun of him on Tweeter after the show, but he did raise some valid points: aluminium windows DO heat up in the sun a little more than wooden sash windows. Awesome; I’m always looking for little home alterations that’ll make the place a bit more comfortable. I’ve seen a few people with aluminium windows here in Melbourne, so it’s a pre-existing style.

I guess if I ever lose my marbles and believe that either lizard people, or the government or an insidious combination of all both is trying to steal secrets from my brain, I’ll take all that advice to heart. He said that sash windows are the best kind because they have a solid base and the break up the signals by their design. So that’s nuts, but I’ve always liked the look of sash windows, so maybe they’re something to consider. I was in London recently, and it seemed like everyone had sash windows; maybe it’s a British thing? This guy on TV seemed to think that splattering the back of them with lead paint would also disrupt the signal from taking control of the minds of you and your family, because a race so advanced that they can travel from a distant galaxy and take control of human minds from their spaceship is really going to be stopped by a splash of lead paint.

Oh, paint! I was going to paint the ridges of the awnings. They must have rusted away in the winter and now they make an awful sound when I pull them down. So that’s on the to-do list for tomorrow: paint awnings, look up really good places in Melbourne offering sash window replacement, and maybe make myself a hat from burlap and tin foil. The perfect combination to stop the lizard men from eating my brain while I sleep. Apparently.

-Glen