Category Archives: Children

Play Centres, With a Bit of Tech

There will always be children. Some people think that we’re going to transcend the need for childhood and just grow full people who can have all the necessary memories planted in them but nah, those people are silly. There’s just so much that you can’t learn from a computer, so much that experience in the real world encompasses. You might be able to teach an android to act like an adult human with a bit of programming, but humans are a lot more savvy than all that. You’ll ALWAYS be able to tell who grew up normally and who was just handed some pre-set memories.

Which is great for me, because it means planning kids birthday parties is never going out of fashion. So long as there are kids, there will be kids birthday party venues. Bayswater¬†has at least three good ones that I can think of. Places that are filled with fun and laughter and all of that good stuff. Balloon animals, and party pies, and pinning the tail on the donkey if we still have donkeys. Though even if donkeys go extinct, we’ll still *remember* them. It’d be like pinning the tail on the mammoth. Of course, we have to think about how party venues of the future will change. Even now, a lot of indoor play centres are installing some major upgrades and getting all technical. Actual rides inside the play centre, interactive displays…well, it’s not surprising. Kids these days are more tech savvy than ever. Makes sense that a play centre will occupy them through the same methods.

Although…might just be the regressive in me, but I’d like some of the old ways of indoor play centres. Bayswater specifically has a nice one that I think should stick around. Exercise will always be important. Socialising, also important. Some of life’s greatest lessons are learned clambering around in a tunnel or over a climbing frame, playing with all the other kids. Deck the whole thing out with LEDs and sound effects, by all means, but keep the physical activity.

-Rory

Conflicts in Space Have Real Ramifications

indoor play centre BentleighIf you ask me, the latest ‘Space Conflicts’ movie is highly unsuitable for children. Not because of violence, or adult themes. No…I just don’t want my ¬†child viewing something that’s such an insult to the Space Conflicts canon. They’re get the first three, MAYBE the prequels, and the first sequel if I’m feeling generous. And then when they turn eighteen, they can make their own decisions about what to see. Until then, I’m putting my foot down. No child of mine is going to see The Penultimate Space Wizard.

And to think, half the mum’s group DEFENDS that rubbish. I have to go along to the club at the indoor play centre in Bentleigh East, every single week. The kids love it, and that’s fine- I’d do anything for them- but if it means I have to share a play centre with people who are SO wrong…I don’t know if I can really do it. Maybe we can find another indoor play centre, with people who aren’t quite so wrong. The play equipment will be essentially the same, but otherwise it’ll be pretty great. You’ll all see, so you will.

I’ll need to transfer birthday party venues as well. I don’t really like the idea of my children having joyous celebrations with people who clearly have so little of the spirit of celebration in their hearts. I bet they’ve passed on their wrong, so terribly wrong ways to their children. You know what? I think I need a new Mum’s group, because half of these ladies are a lost cause. The loyal, correct few will break away, find another indoor play centre and start anew. We’ll have great discussions where we exclusively talk about things upon which we all agree. And when it comes to kids birthday party venues in Melbourne, I’m sure we could find another one. Little Kelly is just going to have to find some new friends. More wholesome ones, I hope.

-Diana