If you ask me, the latest ‘Space Conflicts’ movie is highly unsuitable for children. Not because of violence, or adult themes. No…I just don’t want my  child viewing something that’s such an insult to the Space Conflicts canon. They’re get the first three, MAYBE the prequels, and the first sequel if I’m feeling generous. And then when they turn eighteen, they can make their own decisions about what to see. Until then, I’m putting my foot down. No child of mine is going to see The Penultimate Space Wizard.

And to think, half the mum’s group DEFENDS that rubbish. I have to go along to the club at the indoor play centre in Bentleigh East, every single week. The kids love it, and that’s fine- I’d do anything for them- but if it means I have to share a play centre with people who are SO wrong…I don’t know if I can really do it. Maybe we can find another indoor play centre, with people who aren’t quite so wrong. The play equipment will be essentially the same, but otherwise it’ll be pretty great. You’ll all see, so you will.

I’ll need to transfer birthday party venues as well. I don’t really like the idea of my children having joyous celebrations with people who clearly have so little of the spirit of celebration in their hearts. I bet they’ve passed on their wrong, so terribly wrong ways to their children. You know what? I think I need a new Mum’s group, because half of these ladies are a lost cause. The loyal, correct few will break away, find another indoor play centre and start anew. We’ll have great discussions where we exclusively talk about things upon which we all agree. And when it comes to kids birthday party venues in Melbourne, I’m sure we could find another one. Little Kelly is just going to have to find some new friends. More wholesome ones, I hope.

-Diana