I have had my meal of fish and potatoes. It was a good meal, and now…action must be taken. Any minute now.
It’ll happen, at some point. At point that is the right point. Gah, this is just me all over! Inaction, all the time. I’ll never learn, and it will be my downfall. I’m the world’s greatest procrastinator, which is why it took several years for me to get round to starting a business. Actually, the business hasn’t even started yet, what am I saying? I’m scheduled to begin trading on Monday, and now I have to renovate this office in the space of a weekend. How did it come to this? Oh yeah, internet videos.
Oh, there are office design companies in Melbourne, office fitouts experts if you will. I could just get it all done, but I promised myself that I was going to do this myself. It was going to be how I proved to myself that I was ready to do this, to finally run my own business efficiently without running away to get someone else to do stuff for me. I remember a bit about DIY from my youth, so I thought I could do this. But something always happened that meant I could put it off. I needed to find just the right floorboards. I didn’t want floorboards, I wanted tiles instead. Tiles were overrated, I really just needed the right carpet. By the time I’d made it to the curtain colours…well, that’s now. We’ve made it to the curtain colours, and I’m still as terrible as I was.
Professional office fitouts it is, I suppose. It’ll probably end up much better, though I do wonder if they’ll be finished in a single day. Maybe all my staff will have to move in while there are major renovations going on, and I’ll have to make something up. Like, there were faults with the previous renovation, which is…true enough. I had to call in Melbourne’s best office renovation people, because my own skills weren’t enough! Also, kind of true…
Jake had the bright idea of taking us all on a fishing trip. Normally this would be a fun adventure, instead we were all terrified because none of us had ever been fishing before. We were keen to try though, because as far as we could tell, fishing is a relatively low-impact activity.
Jake decided that we should all go out on a boat. This is despite none of us having a skipper’s ticket, half having never been on a boat more than once. Oh and one of us wasn’t able to swim.
Flash forward six months, and Jake, true to his word, has gotten a skipper’s ticket and decided that life jackets are our best chance. We got one with an old outboard motor, which I didn’t realise was a mistake. It wasn’t long before we realised the boat needed a serious outboard motor servicing. Melbourne waters can be unforgiving to an inexperienced crew.
The day was a disaster before we even hit the water. Jake’s truck could not get up the hill leading to the pier. We all burst into laughter at this predicament of course, since we could literally see the coast from inside the truck. For about 45 minutes we had to help push the boat up the last few metres to the top of the hill. No sooner had we accomplished this task, the trailer breaks off. The boat’s back end falls straight down, right next to the pier, outboard motor broken into pieces.
We were so close, yet so far away. It’s a good thing our shenanigans didn’t manage to break the anchor winch. Melbourne is a fantastic place to fish and enjoy the bay, but I doubt I’ll ever go out with someone who doesn’t have at least a few years experience with a boat. We didn’t end up out on the water, but we still ended up fishing off the pier, so at the very least it was a memorable weekend.
My nerves can handle a finale. My nerves can handle a mid-season finale, provided I know that it’s coming. But now Week of Our Lives has just been tossing in the revelations in whichever episode it likes, and I just can’t deal. CANNOT DEAL, PEOPLE.
Anyway, juicy details firthcoming! Now Spencer is the mayor, he’s unveiled a gold statue of himself in the town square that also acts as a fountain. Debbie has remained faithful despite the unfortunate tortoise incident that found its way onto Me-Straw, but now she’s worried. Spencer is flying in some expert eyebrow tattooing experts from Melbourne, because he’s worried that the golden statue’s eyebrows are more ‘fleek’ than his, and it’s now mocking him.
Debbie wants to tell someone who can help, like a psychiatrist, but having perfect eyebrows to impress Craig, her ex who dumped her for his online Japanese robot girlfriend, is too tempting. She’s going to surpress the truth of Spencer’s illness just to make her eyebrows the most fleek in all of Realsville, prizing her appearance over the good of the citizens!
In a related story, Greta is trying to snag the handsome guy who fixes the gas despite the fifty-five-year age difference, and she’s been trying to oust Debbie from her position as PA so that Spencer will include her in his eyebrow tattooing plans. Never mind that her husband Paolo managed to survive her attempts to have him killed at sea by befriending the mercenary pirates and has returned for his ultimate revenge! And Greta is using the money from his life insurance just to keep the anti-wrinkle treatments from Melbourne flowing. What happens when the truth comes out? Will Debbie see sense? Why is Spencer’s gold statue wearing Crocs, and is it a sign? How will Leela convince Clarice to open a reptile petting zoo together when iguanas killed her entire family?
Squee, so much mystery and intrigue!!