Alright, time for part two of my supervillain lair renovation! Today, I’m planning to add a bathroom to it. It’s really annoying when you’re in the middle of an evil plan brainstorming session and suddenly nature is calling you, but you have to walk all the way upstairs to go to the bathroom. By the time you get back, all the creative ideas are gone! It’s a massive momentum killer. That’s going to change once I get bathroom renovations. Melbourne had better watch out because I’ll be coming up with more diabolical plans than ever!

Of course, there’s a lot of planning for the bathroom to be done, before the renovation can truly begin. I’ve got to pick the colours and the tile types, along with the finishes. I’m thinking that an ocean-style bathroom might be best, as the relaxing and soothing colours will enhance my big brain so that it comes up with more delightfully evil ideas. That will be particularly important when I’m the Premier of Victoria because I’ll be getting up to all sorts of mischief then. Not that anybody will care. I could spend the entire state’s budget on giant flowers that come alive and destroy the city and nobody would care because it’s still better than the current guy.

Now, it’s really important that I get it right the first time when it comes to bathroom design near Melbourne. People will judge me pretty harshly if they find out that I have a tacky bathroom in my lair. I like the ocean-style idea, but it’s possible something better will come along. I’ll have to speak to the professionals about it. Maybe I should go with something a bit more menacing. Perhaps some demonic art or flames? That sounds pretty evil, if a little cliche. I’m sure the experts will have some ideas. Once the project is done, I’ll have all my peers from the Supervillain Training Academy come around for a dinner party, and they’ll all marvel at my incredibly evil lair, complete with a kitchen and a bathroom.

– Dr Dark McBane